This is a nice piece. I like the conceit and the use of the hair, it's a great focal point for waking up, everyone knows bed hair, bad hair days etc. Some things to consider is that the hair is very active. Once you read the wake up comment you understand that the (obvious) orientation of the missing person with the hair is lying down on the bed, or perhaps just sitting up in the morning in bed. The activity of the hair though could easily be the hair of someone in midair on a trampoline which is what I imagine, or someone shaking their head. Not a criticism but just a thought to look at it differently. The piece is also IMHO very conceptual. Clearly defining for yourself what your concept is will definetaly help you in terms of your design. Nice solid concept and you clearly though about the execution. 7/10
Your second version is a nice experiment with the dots and the French soldier (which I assume is sir Bonaparte). I'm not sure why you have the small circular shots of the the hair. Is this what Bonaparte sees with the spyglass he's holding? Are these supposed to represent the tracks you see in your vision when you rub your closed eyes? Tears? eye boogers? Overall you don't need an obvious connection to the peace but I'm not finding a layered connection as I think about it more deeply. One thing I might suggest is the connection of the Dream figure has a spyglass. The circles dotting the picture could actually be pieces of the face you do not see, like an eye, a mouth, etc. So the subject is revealed through the dream figure's spyglass an observation of awakening from within the sleeping head of the sleeper. Also my last comment would be on the text, I'm not sure about the color choice My suggestion would be to try a blue more in line with the bluish purple that highlights the hair. Also the text doesn't really make sense with the additional stuff. YOu have to sorta of force it into alignment, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway in my opinion 5/10
The third version is nice. The text is strong and I like the way it mimics the morning confusion. I would suggest playing with the text more although I'm sure you've done it to death already. think about the color again and I'm not sure how the additional emphasis of the white circle, what that is doing. Something perhaps to think about a little more. 7/10
Your fourth version I think is the best. It's really funny and complete. The elements just make sense together and the whole what the hell is Napoleon doing here is surreal and perfect for the half-awake groggy state of waking up. My only suggestions would be is the color choice of the text the right choice, why purple? Also I think absolutely get rid of, "wake up"
so its
free floating I can't
Then Napoleon with wake up! Connects the piece together a bit better the unfinished statement draws the eye down and there are so many more interesting questions that are funny this way.
6 comments:
This is a nice piece. I like the conceit and the use of the hair, it's a great focal point for waking up, everyone knows bed hair, bad hair days etc. Some things to consider is that the hair is very active. Once you read the wake up comment you understand that the (obvious) orientation of the missing person with the hair is lying down on the bed, or perhaps just sitting up in the morning in bed. The activity of the hair though could easily be the hair of someone in midair on a trampoline which is what I imagine, or someone shaking their head. Not a criticism but just a thought to look at it differently. The piece is also IMHO very conceptual. Clearly defining for yourself what your concept is will definetaly help you in terms of your design.
Nice solid concept and you clearly though about the execution. 7/10
Your second version is a nice experiment with the dots and the French soldier (which I assume is sir Bonaparte). I'm not sure why you have the small circular shots of the the hair. Is this what Bonaparte sees with the spyglass he's holding? Are these supposed to represent the tracks you see in your vision when you rub your closed eyes? Tears? eye boogers? Overall you don't need an obvious connection to the peace but I'm not finding a layered connection as I think about it more deeply. One thing I might suggest is the connection of the Dream figure has a spyglass. The circles dotting the picture could actually be pieces of the face you do not see, like an eye, a mouth, etc. So the subject is revealed through the dream figure's spyglass an observation of awakening from within the sleeping head of the sleeper. Also my last comment would be on the text, I'm not sure about the color choice My suggestion would be to try a blue more in line with the bluish purple that highlights the hair. Also the text doesn't really make sense with the additional stuff. YOu have to sorta of force it into alignment, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Anyway in my opinion 5/10
The third version is nice. The text is strong and I like the way it mimics the morning confusion. I would suggest playing with the text more although I'm sure you've done it to death already. think about the color again and I'm not sure how the additional emphasis of the white circle, what that is doing. Something perhaps to think about a little more.
7/10
Your fourth version I think is the best. It's really funny and complete. The elements just make sense together and the whole what the hell is Napoleon doing here is surreal and perfect for the half-awake groggy state of waking up. My only suggestions would be is the color choice of the text the right choice, why purple? Also I think absolutely get rid of, "wake up"
so its
free floating I can't
Then Napoleon with wake up! Connects the piece together a bit better the unfinished statement draws the eye down and there are so many more interesting questions that are funny this way.
Ooops. last piece 8/10
love the elements in these.
suggest you work on the typography.
with the exception of the slab serif face, the others are not interesting.
transitional face, meaning no serifs but not a sans serif.
straddles the middle without making a statement.
conceptually that may make sense, but in terms of design it's just wishy washy.
that's my opinion, of course.
otherwise, a great piece.
love.
g.
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